The Cranky Clown (transcript)
From Mirage's perspective —
>So we had this meeting in the labra - lavri - the... place where you go to the bathroom. That's 'cause at the Paradise Lounge, we don't do "private rooms". Here, we believe in being social... connecting with people... coming together as humans. Look, the point is....
> ... I'M CRANKY
>Wraith: You're in a bad mood.
>Mirage: What? Yeah. No. Am not... what do you know?
>Wraith: More than you might think.
>Mirage: Here it comes. 189 Reasons why all the versions of myself are bummed out.
> ... I say as I hand Wraith her Appletini. (I know, right? I would totally make fun of her too, but I saw what happened to the last guy, and I like the idea of having kids one day, so I'll stick with my poker face, thanks.)
>Wraith: Only need one reason. It bothers you that Loba knows your Mom's secret.
>And that's when it hits me. It bothers me that Loba knows Mom's secret!
>Lifeline: She knew 'bout my parents, too. More'n that, she knows how I feel 'bout 'em, and I don' go spreadin' that. I think she got dirt on all of us.
>Caustic: She is similarly aware of the allegations against me - all patently false and absurd, of course. That these cretins continue to mistake me for a corpse is preposterous!
>Octane: And what's she gonna do for me, huh? Help me run faster? (Ey... can she do that?)
>Bangalore: Bunch of marks. All of you.
> ... Bangalore says, as she spits onto the floor that I-- that someone will have to clean later.
>Bangalore: She bats her eyelashes, and you all fall in line. Advancing into unknown territories to obtain some trinket - we don't even know what this hunk of junk is.
>Crypto: I've been studying it, and it looks like it's encasing a matrix, but it needs its other half to fully--
>Bangalore: That wasn't a question. Only reason I went to that awful place was to make sure none of you ended up in a bodybag... or as Caustic's latest experiment. No, instead we get to be Loba's little errand boys.
>Bangalore: I don't know about all of you, but I didn't sign up to take orders from some two-bit thief when I signed my Legends contract. If the IMC was still running the show, she'd be halfway to the brig by 0-500.
>Wraith: So what's the plan? We walk away?
>Bangalore: Then we're more in the dark than before. For now, follow her lead... but we do our own private reconnaissance.
>Bangalore: She's not telling us everything. I overheard her talking to someone named Yoko at Hammond Robotics... about a meeting Loba had with the higher-ups there.
>Octane: Yo, I've got a date with a girl named Yoko from Hammond. Think they know each other?
>Wow, room got real quiet after that one. And Lifeline's about two decibels too high when she says--
>Lifeline: A date? G'wan wit'cha. Does this girl know what she's gettin' herself into?
>Bangalore cuts in, which is annoying, because hi, you had your turn, and we want to see Lifeline kick Octane's butt now, but sure, Bangalore, your thing is important too, I guess.
>Bangalore: Octane, you know this girl?
>Octane: She asked if I wanted to get a drink. I was thirsty and said sure, but she meant tomorrow. I mean, I'll be thirsty tomorrow too. But I don't know, man. She wants me to wait for things. Like, wait? Just... around?
>Lifeline: Yuh NOT goin' on this date. Girl doesn' deserve attitude like that.
>Bangalore: Yes, he IS going. Never turn good intel down, and right now, your boy's our only way to get out hands on some.
>Bangalore: Octane, we need you to find out what this meeting between Loba and Hammond was all about. And I need proof, so she can't deny the whole thing. Anything they've got.
>Lifeline: Yuh gonna let this poor girl sit through the torture of this date for intel?
>Octane: SHE'S tortured?! I have to wear PANTS!
>I look to Wraith who's watching Octane get bounced back and forth between Bangalore and Lifeline like a ping pong ball. She turns to me, shaking her head.
>Wraith: And you think I'M intense?
>I know better than to answer that question, so I say...
>Mirage: I know better than to answer that question.
>But Wraith has a point. I've never seen Bangs this worked up. If I were Loba Andrade? I'd be shaking in my thigh-highs. Because right now, I know two things: Bangalore won't stop until she's sent Loba Andrade packing...
> ...and nights like this are TOTALLY why I bought a bar!